Colossians Study Four: 3:5-25

Dear Student of the Word,

I am pressing on with this study so that I can finish with the final installment next week and then take some time off from writing over the Christmas holidays.  If you feel a bit overwhelmed by how much I have been sending you, relax.  You will have plenty of time before we start our study in John to finish reading this study from Colossians.

Paul's custom in his letters was to cover theology in the first half and practical matters in the second half.  This letter was no exception as Paul took the opportunity to write about the Christian family, and my comments on his teaching are as follows:

3:18 – A wife is to be submissive to her husband as is fitting in the Lord.  Does this mean that she must obey him in every instance?  Absolutely not!  What if a husband wanted her to do something illegal or immoral?  Would she obey?  Absolutely not!  Yet she would submit to the repercussions for not obeying.   Should a wife submit to an abusive husband who does her physical harm?  Absolutely not! 

I know of wives who earn their own money but their husbands “forbid” them from giving to the church.  Should they obey?  Absolutely not!  Should they submit to the husband’s displeasure or even anger over her “disobedience”?  Absolutely!  When I think of submission in the sense I am describing, I go to the story in Acts 4:24-31.  Those in authority forbid the apostles from preaching, but they did not obey.  There were more than willing, however, to submit to their punishment for obeying God rather than man.  Does this make sense to you?

It is my contention that we have put a burden on godly women that God did not intend and have caused spiritual women to suffer and be unfruitful in their purpose as they submit to dull and unspiritual husbands. 

v. 19 – I think we have been much quicker to require women to submit than we have to require men not to be harsh with their wives.  Jesus is the husband of His bride, the Church.  Just think of how Jesus treats the Church and you have a guide for how husbands should treat their wives.  I have been guilty of harshness toward my wife on many occasions and my tendency goes all the way back to the Garden. 

“Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you” (Genesis 3:16).

Woman’s fallen state leads her to want a man to dominate her; man’s fallen state leads him to fulfill that wish and dominate women.  That is the source of much tension in marriages and it plays out in society as well. 

v. 20 – Now the Bible is clear that children are to obey in everything, yet at some point the children must grow up and establish their own households.  I do a lot of work in Africa where it is part of many cultures for parents to maintain some measure of control over children no matter how old the children are.  I don’t believe this verse was referring to that practice.  At some point, a man leaves and cleaves as Scripture doesn’t just recommend but commands!

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh (Genesis 2:24).

v. 21 – A husband’s harshness that he exerts over his wife can carry over to his relationship with the children.  A father is to discipline his children but not in a manner that makes them bitter and resentful.  It is always with a view toward seeing that the child has a godly attitude or behavior and not just to have the child please the whims of his or her father.  There are many who could never please their fathers and this has led to discouragement, which the child even carries into adulthood.  Fatherhood is a powerful force in a child’s life.  Used properly a father can be a tremendous blessing; applied improperly, fatherhood can inflict wounds and scars that remain for a long time. 

What is your role in life at this point – husband, wife or child?  How are you doing in that role according to the directives of these four verses?  Are you submitting, loving and/or obeying?  Where can you ask God’s help for improvement?

As always, I welcome your comments to this week's study. You can write them or find the studies to Corinthians, First Timothy, and Matthew's and Mark's gospels on the site where this week's entry is posted. You can also go there to sign up to receive each week's study.

Plus my website archives contains a complete collection of all my verse-by-verse Bible studies from Matthew, Mark, Luke, Acts, Romans, 1&2 Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, 1&2 Thessalonians, 1&2 Timothy, Hebrews, James, 1&2 Peter, Hebrews and Revelation, along with the unpublished Faith Files.

Download Colossians Study 4

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